PutinToon 76 - Bush Finds the Magic Wand

HUCK FINN COMMENTS: If you missed the President George W. Bush press conference, you missed a show. After watching George W., I realized there's no need for me to spend any money going to comedy clubs.

Add laughter in your life by watching a George W. press conference. This might help as the economy sinks into recession. It is amazing that nearly everyone on the planet is finally acknowledging the fact that America's in recession, but not George W.

We have to give George W. a break. This is his last year and he's trying hard to save his legacy. This isn't an easy task with price of gas at $3.62 per gallon and rising.

During the conference, George W. mentioned to one of the press reporters that he wishes he had a magic wand to fix the price of gas situation. (I am not a Republican or Democrat, and I do not favor either of the parties. I wish we had a third party in America.)  George W. has quite a few magic wands at his disposal but he refuses to use them.

One of the magic wands is the STOP BEING A WARMONGER.  America is spending $12 Billion dollars per month fighting Middle East wars. It doesn't take a sixth grader to do the math and see we can't afford to support these wars. Yes, I realize that we have to feed the American military borg with physical activities. But the Afghanistan and Iraq wars have put average Bubba under extreme financial strain, whether Bubba wants to admit it or not.

The magic wand that can solve our problems is Russia. Yes, Russia. I'm not drunk or doing drugs. Russia used to be ally to America long ago. If you recall, Russia sold Alaska to us a century ago. If you are not familiar with physical commodities, Russia exports an incredible amount of diesel, crude and gas to the rest of the world. Why not be friends with Russia, instead of countries with governments which suppress their people like in the Middle East and Asia.

Russians are more like Americans than people in some of the other countries America supports just because they've got oil. Let's take quick pop quiz.

Question:  Which country has moral, religious and political values that would be closer to the values of America?

a.) Saudi Arabia
b.) China
c.) Iran
d.) Iraq
e.) Venezuela
f.) Nigeria
g.) UAE
h.) Russia

Hmm... this is a really hard question.  I'd say that Russia comes closer to America than any country on this list. The good news is that Russia has a substantial amount of natural resources that America needs due to Bubba driving those 8 MPG SUVs and trucks.

Let's be friends with the Russians. The Cold War is over. I promise. It really is... ugh, I hope it is. One problem: how is the current administration going to feed the military machine if we are not fighting someone for whatever reason they can concoct?

Da, what would Putin do? Would he send George W. the magic wand to solve the energy crisis?

Da, that is the question.

Huck Finn, Chairman, The Amerikan Party

"Smart-Ass Politics for Smart People.” ^TM