PutinToon 72 - Putin Sends Chastity Belts to America

HUCK FINN COMMENTS: What a month it's been for the great state of New York. Governor Eliot Spitzer got caught with his pants down with a prostitute.

We maybe in recession, possibly going into depression, but I can assure you that Wall Street was dancing in the streets.

Mr. Eliot Spitzer, was enemy number #1 to Wall Street. I'm sure he has more enemies than Saddam Hussein ever dreamed of having. What goes around comes around and Spitzer, thinking he was above the law, is about to learn the lesson of

being humbled and humiliated.

I'm not a big believer in the concept of Wall Street, so Spitzer going down was not an emotional moment for me like it was for the Wall Street suits. But, I felt bad for his wife. I don't understand what it is that makes a woman "stand by their man" when they get caught with their zipper down.

Hillary supported Bill during the Monica Lewinsky fiasco. But she did it for a good reason - Hillary planned on running for the White House. Despite her failure on health care, Hillary got a taste of being President, so I understand her supporting Bill.

Ms. Spitzer supporting Mr. Spitzer is beyond my comprehension. Maybe she's thinking that since the other woman, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, was a prostitute, it was just sex. During the Spitzer press conference, I was just waiting for her to come from behind and whack his ass. It didn't happen. Oh, well, not my problem. I do feel very bad for her because she's a smart and beautiful woman.

Sometimes you don't have to make up humor. You just have to report it. You just can't make this stuff up.

David A. Paterson, one day after being sworn in as governor of New York after of Eliot Spitzer fiasco, admitted to having extra marital affairs, one with a state employee. He is noncommittal as to whether any improper billing had taken place. Once again, his wife "stood by her man." Apparently she also had extra marital affairs during their separation.

I'm not keeping track of this crap, but I want to see at least one politician wife whack her husband on the top of his head if there's a press conference about his "not being able to keep the zipper closed."

American politicians remind me of ancient Rome's politicians. Back then, they couldn't keep their togas closed.

America's in a major recession. Our politicians need to stay focused on the tough issues at hand, if we're going to survive this recession and not slip into depression. So, I wrote a simple request to Congress.

Dear Congress,

That means both Republicans and Democrats.

Folks, we are in recession. We have major issues in this country which need to be addressed and solved: the high price of oil, foreclosures, national debt, exorbitant war costs, out of control spending, health care, etc. (Please see Top 10 issues on TheAmerikanParty.com) As we say at The Amerikan Party, "It's the Recession, Stupid."

We all need to stay FOCUSED to get out of the mess you all got us into. We, the American taxpayers, hope and pray that you will put all your energies into making America great once again.

I hate to get personal, but would you all please agree to keep your zippers zipped (men) and keep your legs crossed (women) during these tough times. I know it's tough for some of you to stay monogamous  because you have become Masters of the Universe, but for the sake of our country, do not do the following:

1.) Cheat on your spouses with  your staff (You know, government employees)
2.) Cheat on your spouses  with  your lobbyists (You know, that is not professional, either)
3.) Cheat on your spouses in the bathroom (You know that is kind of dirty [germs]. Plus it is not comfortable and it is illegal.)
4.) Cheat on your spouses with prostitutes (I don't get the concept of prostitution. Why pay for something you can get for free at home. And it's illegal.)
5.) Cheat on your spouses by watching porn on government computers. (Homeland Security is watching you. Don't do it.)

And please, if you are an immigration officer, I beg you not to ask any immigrant to give you sex for a green card. It's not a good image for our country.

Thank you. I hope we can all work together to get out of this recession with our zippers zipped.

Sincerely,

Huck Finn

What would Putin do? Would he offer our Congress FREE CHASTITY BELTS so they can focus on helping America out of recession? If Putin cheated on his wife, would Putin ever have a press conference about it? Would his wife "stand by her man?" Somehow, I can't see Russian press being able to set up a press conference.

I wonder if Putin will send chastity belts to Congress after reading this PutinToon. I hope he does. If he does it, he'll be responsible for getting America out of recession because our Congress will be focused on tasks at hand... not extra-curricular activities. But will Putin send the chastity belts?

Da, that is the question.

Huck Finn, Chairman, The Amerikan Party

"Smart-Ass Politics for Smart People.” ^TM