HUCK FINN COMMENTS: Bad news, American people.
Ron Paul is still non-existent in the traditional media.
We've seen the Democratic debates between Hill and Obama, but where is the Republican debate between McCain, Huckabee and Ron Paul in Texas? Now that would have been something to see. I was hoping that Texas media (Univision especially) would allow Ron Paul to speak during the debate... unlike Anderson Cooper's interruptions during the California debates.
The media shuns Ron Paul to the point that I'm starting to think he may have been abducted by the aliens to help the galaxy restore its balance.
Come with me on a journey of intergalactic proportions. Suppose there really a real Star Wars scenario in the cosmic
universe and we, Earthlings, were gullible enough to believe that we're the only superior species among trillions of trillions of stars in trillions of trillions of galaxies.
If the entire intergalactic universe was at stake because some greedy a-hole like Darth Vader was trying to control the cosmos, who would you want to represent the human race? Would you want Obama, Huckabee, Hillary, McCain or Ron Paul to be the Obi Wan Kenobi?
The answer is not that hard. Please follow my logical conclusion.
OBAMA: He can't save the galaxy because he'd be too busy giving speeches during the star wars fights. I can see him trying to give a 60-minute speech during the battle scene between Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. When Skywalker tells his son that "I am your father," I can see Obama jump in to save Luke by saying, "Dear beloved Darth Vader, we are looking for change. Change in America, change in the universe. Even if you are Luke's father, so what. Will you help us change the universe?" And there goes Obama, on and on about change, blah, blah, blah. In conclusion, Obama would not be the best candidate to change the universe. Besides, he'll be busy starting a cable channel with Oprah, called Oprabama.
McCAIN: McCain is a true warrior. He loves a good fight, and because he's willing to stay in Iraq for the next 300 years, it gives him an edge over the other candidates. However, if McCain was going to save the universe from Darth Vader, how is he going to pay it? Interstellar galactic war is costly. I'm sure McCain would expect American taxpayers to foot the bill for the entire Star Wars war. The problem is America is in recession. We're squeezed by high oil prices, the subprime fiasco and costs of war in Afghanistan, Iraq and possibly Kosovo. In conclusion, McCain couldn't save the universe because he's not able of doing sixth grade math in regards to how to finance the Star Wars war.
HUCKABEE: Huckabee admitted on Saturday Night Live that he's not in the math business, but in the miracle business. Huckabee knows the force has to be with him in order to win. He makes more sense than Obama and McCain. If the universe is going be restored to order, we need to believe and use the force. My concern with Huckabee as the chosen one to fight Dart Vader is that he's going to lean too much to the right and refuse to fight for all species in the Galaxy. He'll be too busy trying to determine who God's chosen people are, and Darth Vader and the evil empire will take over Earth and the other trillions of planets in the galaxy. The other problem is that Huckabee admits being bad in math so unless he hires Ron Paul as his math guy, I can't see him restoring the balance of the universe.
HILLARY: Being a fighter all her life, she's also a warrior. Unlike McCain, who survived the concentration camps in Vietnam, Hillary survived the concentration camp of Bill's shenaniganism. When Hillary was asked what her defining moment was, during the Texas debate, she claimed to have survived many ordeals in her life. You could literally hear the audience's thoughts in the auditorium scream out, 'Blow job! Blow job! Blow job!"
Hand it to Hillary. She's one tough cookie. Her surviving the Monica Lewinsky ordeal with grace was one of the defining moments of her life. Hillary proved to me she can handle any situation on planet earth. The threat of nuclear attacks, recession going into depression, or the subprime market forcing 50% of America into foreclosure, is nothing compared to fighting the humiliation of Bill's blow job drama.
The problem I have with Hillary is she'd be too busy trying to prove she's experienced in fighting the evil forces of the universe headed by Darth Vader, instead of just punching the guy out. If Hillary's the chosen Obi Wan Kenobi, how will the universe address Dart Vader complaining to the intergalactic board that she's acting like a BITCH. Somehow, Hill fighting the universe just doesn't feel right.
RON PAUL: Now, this guy can do some sixth grade math, unlike the other candidates and despite the fact he was a baby doctor. The problem with Ron Paul is the media shuns him because he's dangerous. He's dangerous because he loves and cares about the American people and wants Congress to follow the Constitution to a 'T'. His idealism doesn't work in America, Congress or Capitol Hill. When you have 35,000 lobbyists living and breathing in D.C. each day, favors (you know what I mean favors) will be executed on a daily basis.
Ron Paul is all about protecting the American individual. Why do that when the media and Congress can control us by getting us to believe that we should bend over and let the Middle East shove it up our tail pipe?
Ron Paul is trying to do honest work.
Isn't that silly? Ron Paul wants to cut the Iraq war costs. Isn't that silly? Ron Paul wants to balance the federal budget. Now, that's really silly. Personally, I'm shooting for us to continue our spending ways because, in five more years, America will have $12 trillion in federal debt if we continue. I want to be part of this generation. I want to be able to look at my children and their children straight in the eyes and say: "Son, I gave you life and raised you. Now, pay off my debt, asshole."
Ron Paul is the logical choice to restore order in the universe.
If there was a Star Wars intergalactic drama and we needed an Obi Wan Kenobi, I'd vote for Ron Paul. The problem is Luke Skywalker will likely never hear of Ron Paul because the media loves to ignore him, despite the fact he has brains. Ron Paul doesn't have a prayer of winning, because America doesn't want an honest politician in the White House. If the media would give him some airtime, maybe he could influence both parties to balance the frickin' BUDGET!
I'm sure Darth Vader prays that the media doesn't showcase Ron Paul... he feels the force of Ron Paul, and Darth is afraid of it. (This is not an endorsement for Ron Paul, as I am still undecided.)
Huck Finn, Chairman, The Amerikan Party
"Smart-Ass Politics for Smart People.” TM
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