PutinToon 30 - CSI Giuliani

Poor Giuliani. You can't win the election operating from a South Beach Miami Hotel. But do you blame him? Think about it. Would you rather live out of the bus and visit places like Iowa or stay on the sunny beaches of South Miami?

Hey, while other candidates where riding IN their buses campaigning, Giuliani visited someone ON the bus during one CNN interviews. You could see the death of Giuliani's campaign coming a mile away. I can't believe...

the media even wasted their time interviewing him before the Florida primaries.

After throwing in his South Beach towel, the media analyzed why Giuliani failed in Florida. When I saw the political analysts mental masturbating about all the reasons he lost, I thought to myself, are you fricking kidding me?

CSI Giuliani. The death of the 9/11 Hero.

Oh, the media came up with so many damn reasons that even the coroner wouldn't want to listen. The reason Giuliani lost, after being in the front nationally, is simple. Giuliani didn't want to ride the damn bus. He didn't want to have a bus. He barely visited the bus.

Yes, Republicans, on the average, represent the rich or upper middle class. But even the upper middle class would've appreciated seeing Giulliani ride on a bus across the country as he reminded people he's the "9/11 guy."

So before anyone writes a book on modern politics and why Giuliani lost, let me spare them the effort. He didn't ride the damn, smelly, uncomfortable, uncool, heavy-polluting, ugly and gas-guzzling bus. You got it? It's that simple.

Giuliani wasn't willing to pay the price of being a rock star. Hey, even Mick Jagger, Bono and Sting ride the bus when they tour America. The bus was his downfall.

What would Putin do? If he decided to run for the President of Unites States, would he ride the bus? Would he pay the price of long hours on the road, spouting false promises like the rest of the politicians, that "change" is coming?

I have doubts about Putin riding the bus. Since Russia holds an incredible amount of resources, I think his political consultants would advise him to ride in a Ferrari to prove he's the best candidate to run this country because of his extensive background in running Gazprom energy company... oops... I mean Russia.

Putin would win if he promised each American FREE OIL for a year during the current recession. Okay, Amerikan people, I admit it. If Putin promised me free gaz (gas) for one year, I think I'd vote for him too.

Now, if Putin promised a hybrid Ferrari to each American if they would vote for him, I think the competition would be over.

Da, what would Putin do? Would he offer free gaz and free Ferrari to each American who votes for him?
Da, is the question.

Huck Finn, Chairman, The Amerikan Party

"Smart-Ass Politics for Smart People.” ^TM