Let's get some facts straight. After Ronald Reagan single-handedly tore down the Berlin War and broke up Communism (like Al Gore single-handedly invented the Internet), the Soviet Union was disbanded into several republics. Russia emerged as the most powerful. Economic chaos continued through the Gorbachev and Yeltsin eras, then
Vladimir Putin stepped in. He threw some judo-style political maneuvers to rescue Russia from third world country status.
One key fact: there is no more KGB. I know the acronym 'KGB' sounds good in movies, but now it's officially called FSB.
If you're still calling Russian spooks KGB, then you're COMPLETELY out of touch, out of fashion and behind the times.
FSB stands for Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation (FSB) ( Russian: : ФСБ, Федера́льная слу́жба безопа́сности; Federalnaya Sluzhba Bezopasnosti). FSB is the main domestic security service of the Russian Federation and the main successor agency of the Soviet-era Cheka, NKVD, and KGB.
The FSB is involved in counter-intelligence, internal and border security, counter-terrorism, and surveillance. Its headquarters are on Lubyanka Square, downtown Moscow, the same local as the former headquarters of the KGB.
Dude, please don't call Russian spooks KGB anymore.
Let's be politically correct. The KGB was part of the former "evil empire" of the Soviet Union. Russia is a thriving country under Vladimir Putin's leadership, despite how Bush positions it.
Maybe America should find a new name for the CIA?
After the water boarding fiasco, they should seriously reconsider rebranding the CIA. Madison Avenue ad agencies can pitch the CIA on a new image campaign. (More on that in the future.)
I bet Huckabee calls FSB still KGB. Huckabee may be branding himself as Mr. Nice Guy, but he appears to be Russia-phobic. During the Washington state GOP caucuses, the state party chairman called the race early for John McCain, when Huckabee was only losing by 242 votes and over 1,500 votes remained to be counted. Huckabee cried foul, saying that the act was reminiscent of elections in COMMUNIST BLOC NATIONS.
"That is not what we do in American elections," Huckabee said on CNN's American Morning Monday. "Maybe that's how they used to conduct it in the old Soviet Union, but you don't just throw people's votes out and say, 'well, we're not going to bother counting them because we kind of think we know where this was going.'
I'm unsure about Huckabee after these "Soviet" statements. He is one of the funniest presidential candidates. But really, how hard is it to be funnier than Obama, Hillary, Ron Paul and McCain?
First, I don't know where Huckabee was during the George W. Bush vs. Al Gore campaign in 2000. Obviously, Huckabee couldn't say that the Washington early call was reminiscent of the Bush-Gore elections in Florida. So, what does he do? Huckabee picks on the former evil empire, the Soviet Union. At least he didn't say that the early vote reminds him of the Putin-style of voting. At least he didn't insult Vladimir Putin... yet.
Second, it looks like Huckabee will continue to Russia-bash, just like Bush. But first, he'll have to take a geography and history lesson on where Russia's located. I can't see Huckabee conducting international politics. He would most likely vote for America to attack Iran too, being a conservative Republican. But what do I know?
Imagine if Huckabee wins. He announces to the world he's seen Putin's soul through Putin's eyes.
Huckabee sees gaz in Putin's eyes and decides to attack Russia (instead of Iraq... oops, I mean Iran) to grab the natural energy resources for the U.S., justifying the attack because he's sure Russia has 1,367,322,299 nuclear warheads.
In the meantime, I, Huck Finn, of sound mind and body, have located the aliens who visited Stephenville, Texas. Despite rigorous immigration laws, I convince the aliens to allow me to move to their planet and teach them how to blog.
Back on earth, Huckabee tries to explain, in his joke-telling style, to the American public why we attacked Russia. For some strange reason, the American public isn't laughing.
What did Putin do when he heard Huckabee insult the former evil empire, Soviet Union? Did he shrug it off? Or did he make a Huckabee doll to kick the sh*% out of during his judo maneuvers?
What would Putin do if Huckabee wins? At this point, I'm sure Putin is praying that Huckabee doesn't win.
Huck Finn, Chairman, The Amerikan Party
"Smart-Ass Politics for Smart People.” TM
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