HUCK FINN COMMENTS: Who will be the lucky one to win the White House and receive the best present any new homeowner could ever get: a $400 billion deficit.
Dude, I sure wish I was running for the White House. With house warming presents like that, I can assure you whoever wins will have gray hair within 3 months, 12 days, 4 hours.
Maybe we should vote for John McCain (this is not an endorsement for John McCain, I'm still undecided). He already has gray hair and won't look like he's stressed out with such a
beautiful gift. One thing about running the White House: every president that goes through there gets gray over night.
Even George Bush, for whatever reason, has aged substantially in the
last seven years. We don't know what George W. Bush will do when he
leaves (see Bush's Next Career Move). Maybe he can follow Emmitt Smith's path and be a spokesperson / ad pitchman for Just for Men
(hair color product.) Emmitt looked like sh*% with his gray beard until
he covered up the gray. Now he looks young enough to go back and run
for the Dalas Cowboys again.
John McCain could appeal to undecided voters by saying, "I've got gray hair so you don't have to. Or how about, "Saving America from getting more gray hair." Or, "Gray hair is good for the experienced only."
What color will McCain's hair turn if he wins the White House after promising not to increase taxes? Will it turn black or red? I don't know who's doing McCain's campaign calculus right now but it's gotta be the tooth fairy.
How does McCain plan to continue funding the Iraq and Afghanistan wars to the tune of $12 billion per month, include a $160 billion rebate package, fix the sub prime fiasco and any other Wall Street financial voodoo instrument fiasco looming on the horizon, trade imbalance and increasing national debt without increasing taxes?
This goes against simple, sixth grade math. I've taken calculus and differential equations but I can't figure out this math problem. What complicates the equation is that it is estimated that we'll spend $1 trillion dollars on the Iraq war by 2009.
Who's going to pay for all these unexpected expenditures? I got it. I think I know who will pay for this. Please help me choose who will pay for Bush's proposed $3.1 trillion, 2009 federal budget?
a.) Mickey Mouse
b.) Donald Duck
c.) Goofy
d.) Porky Pig
e.) Wiley Coyote
f.) Dudley Do Right
g.) Peter Pan
h.) Cinderella
i.) Wizard of Oz
j.) Darth Vader
k.) Luke Skywalker
l.) Dumbo
m.) All of the Above
If you guessed all of the above, you're wrong dude. My guess is that Dumbo is going to pay for the entire $3.1 trillion budget himself.
I can't wait to see which Dumbo receives the house warming present from Didiot.
Huck Finn, Chairman, The Amerikan Party
"Smart-Ass Politics for Smart People.” TM
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